There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
BRING THE BAGELS
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
