you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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