do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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