Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
