Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
