so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
