Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
