Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
