So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
