so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
