The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
