Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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