I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
