69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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