when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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