I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
