and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize