Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
3 2 1 whiskey
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
