my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
