Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
