As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
