If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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