I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
