Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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