just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize