My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Less talking, more tequila
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Randomize
