This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
