I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
