so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
