Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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