I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
