She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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