why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
