Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
