I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
now i know why i became what i already was.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
