I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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