Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
