and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
