i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
