Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
