my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
