There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
handjob tips. give me some.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
