do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
