I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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