with your own penis?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
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