Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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