no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
