would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
