i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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