You work out of a Hotel?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
