he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
