She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
