dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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