mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
