So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
