I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
