the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
The air taste purple.
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