Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
