Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
being pregnant is like rehab
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
