Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Panties = found
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
