I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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