school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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