she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
